Will Your Computer Be Left Behind?

Here’s a really old post from my last blog that I really liked:Everybody’s heard of the Left Behind books. They’ve become a kind of cultural icon, symbolizing to most Americans that Christian Evangelicals believe some wacky stuff, millions disappearing, people flying down from the sky on horses…Come on, I know you’ve read them all.Well, if you still don’t know what I’m talking about the Left Behind series is a group of Christian books written by Tim Lahaye and Jerry Jenkins. The premise of the series is that when Jesus comes back he will zap the church to Heaven, and then leave the rest of the world to go through a seven year period of judgment. It all ends with Jesus returning and tossing the anti-christ and his buddies into Hell. (Sorry! I probably just ruined the whole thing for you)What’s funny to me is that this final book was written a couple years ago (the Glorious Appearing) but now, in the spirit of American capitalism (and milking something for all its worth) they’ve released Left Behind the Prequel book series (“Before they were Left Behind” haha), Left Behind: Kids, Left Behind the movies (yes, I said movies. They actually made more than one of them!) and millions of other Left Behind tie-ins.But now, oh glorious day! the tie-in we’ve all been waiting for…Left Behind the video game!…yes, Left Behind the video game.Check out their descriptions of it. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. Here are some of my favorite parts straight from their website:

  • Conduct physical & spiritual warfare : using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world.
  • Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.
  • Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode – fighting in China Town , SoHo , Uptown and more!
  • Control more than 30 units types – from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks!

Awesome! Christian prayer powered battle tanks! Does anything seem wrong with that or is it just me? Anyway since there’s no way I’d shell out the dough to buy this game, I think my computer may be at risk of being left behind. I’m preparing now for seven years of virus’ and spam before the final cataclysmic crash.

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